The Plan
Most kids have some idea of what they want to be when they grow up. I was convinced that I was going to be a doctor by the age of 8. Not just a doctor, in fact -- a pediatric ophthalmologist. I was that big of a geek even then. Now this is a very sweet ambition for a little person. We are all encouraged to have big dreams at a young age, while we are all given the latitude to change our minds as time passes by and we morph into bigger, more realistic versions of our untainted little selves. I, however, made the big mistake of announcing this ambition to the whole world regularly. What's worse -- stubborn little poop that I was -- I never budged my commitment to this announcement. It would be defeat to give in to another less lofty goal.
*by Allie Brosh, HyperboleAndAHalf.com
So, what happened since then? I failed. Well, I didn't exactly fail. I was, admittedly, pretty awesome in many things other than medicine. I just failed to get anywhere near medical school. Being the pig-headed mule girl that I am, this bothered me very much far into my young adulthood.
I was humiliated for years over this gap in accomplishment. Nevermind that I had graduated at the top of one of the best schools in the country. Nevermind that I had received two full scholarships to graduate school right out of college (which I didn't take because they were NOT medical programs -- what an idiot). Nevermind that I was a Naval Officer during the great "War on Terrorism." Nooooooooo, I wanted to be a Doctor, and that meant that I was a complete and utter failure in every possible way to my very narrow-minded self. So at 27 I sulked away miserably at my -- yes -- pretty accomplished sales job, bemoaning the fact that I had bypassed the opportunity to ever find the success that all of my friends, family and peers had expected of me. I was depressed and felt like I would never live up to my promise and my potential. I was a self-proclaimed failure, lost in the world because I was so far from where I had intended to go. I knew that I was so deep within the labyrinth of life's paths, that I would never find my way out, and I hadn't a chance in the world of finding my way back to that idyllic position with grand title of Medical Doctor.
Then, an amazing thing happened.
I fell in love.
Everyone says that love makes you stupid. This is true in that it makes you gaga so that you do dumb mushy things in front of all of your friends without even caring that you're no longer "cool." However, true love makes you wise in the "I don't give a crap about anything" kind of way. The way that makes you start to filter out your priorities. This is especially true when you started out as stunted as I was in the ways of emotional intelligence. I mean really stunted.
Suddenly, being a doctor wasn't such a big deal. I was able to rationalize away everything with smarty-pants comments like, "Well, physicians hardly make any money now and are completely hamstrung by the insurance-based defunct health care system" (which is true but a total cover for my new absolute lack of desire to go to medical school). I wanted to be comfortable and come home early every night to this handsome mild-natured civil engineer. Life no longer needed to be crazy and exciting and full of huge achievements to make me look like the world's best person alive. In a nutshell, life was no longer about me.
So now I'm pretty much a bum who sits in front of my computer all day long, which rocks when you stop wanting to be successful and make lots of money. Plus, this guy is a total hottie. I seriously scored when I married him. I mean look at him. A bonafide smokin' hot piece of manly man.
So, where did this new magnificent life of wedded and pleasantly sedentary bliss land me? Korea. Yep -- right smack dab in the middle of the country that the crazy dictator neighbor is threatening to bomb the living crap out of.
And that's where the real story begins....
So, what happened since then? I failed. Well, I didn't exactly fail. I was, admittedly, pretty awesome in many things other than medicine. I just failed to get anywhere near medical school. Being the pig-headed mule girl that I am, this bothered me very much far into my young adulthood.
*by Allie Brosh, HyperboleAndAHalf.com
I was humiliated for years over this gap in accomplishment. Nevermind that I had graduated at the top of one of the best schools in the country. Nevermind that I had received two full scholarships to graduate school right out of college (which I didn't take because they were NOT medical programs -- what an idiot). Nevermind that I was a Naval Officer during the great "War on Terrorism." Nooooooooo, I wanted to be a Doctor, and that meant that I was a complete and utter failure in every possible way to my very narrow-minded self. So at 27 I sulked away miserably at my -- yes -- pretty accomplished sales job, bemoaning the fact that I had bypassed the opportunity to ever find the success that all of my friends, family and peers had expected of me. I was depressed and felt like I would never live up to my promise and my potential. I was a self-proclaimed failure, lost in the world because I was so far from where I had intended to go. I knew that I was so deep within the labyrinth of life's paths, that I would never find my way out, and I hadn't a chance in the world of finding my way back to that idyllic position with grand title of Medical Doctor.
Then, an amazing thing happened.
I fell in love.
Suddenly, being a doctor wasn't such a big deal. I was able to rationalize away everything with smarty-pants comments like, "Well, physicians hardly make any money now and are completely hamstrung by the insurance-based defunct health care system" (which is true but a total cover for my new absolute lack of desire to go to medical school). I wanted to be comfortable and come home early every night to this handsome mild-natured civil engineer. Life no longer needed to be crazy and exciting and full of huge achievements to make me look like the world's best person alive. In a nutshell, life was no longer about me.
So now I'm pretty much a bum who sits in front of my computer all day long, which rocks when you stop wanting to be successful and make lots of money. Plus, this guy is a total hottie. I seriously scored when I married him. I mean look at him. A bonafide smokin' hot piece of manly man.
So, where did this new magnificent life of wedded and pleasantly sedentary bliss land me? Korea. Yep -- right smack dab in the middle of the country that the crazy dictator neighbor is threatening to bomb the living crap out of.
And that's where the real story begins....
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